The Catholic Blog

Dear Beautiful

Posted on 2/15/2018 by Stacy Mal

A letter to young girls...

Because I am a mother of 4 daughters, I get an up-close, front-row look at "girl life" nowadays ... which is often hard. And I mean, HARD. No matter what age, or which stage of it they're in. And I'm not just talking about my kids. I see their friends and their peers too, and it seems to me that they are ALL struggling (or have struggled) in some way--especially if they are old enough to have a cell phone and a social media account... where everything is filtered and hardly anything is real. There's just so much competition and anxiety... which leads to insecurity. It breaks my heart that so many beautiful girls don't see their true worth.

So... this is a letter I wrote to each every young lady who feels "different." Feel free to share it with yours if she needs the encouragement.

Dear Beautiful,

I know that you hate that salutation. I know you cringe at the word “beautiful,” because you’ve been deceived in thinking you are not beautiful… which is the whole reason for this letter. I see that the devil has been telling you lies and you are starting to believe them. So, let me take just a minute to speak some truth to you.

The devil has used one of his greatest tactics on you… distraction. He has gotten you to focus on everyone else so that you can’t even really see yourself anymore. He has been showing you your friends and peers, and all the ways that you are not like them. He condemns you with words like “different” and “strange.” And you take that to mean “less than” or “not enough.” But it’s not true.

The devil sees all those unique characteristics about you—your likes, your looks, your talents (those things that God gave only you, to set you apart) and they terrify him. He is scared to death that someday you might embrace them with confidence and accomplish God’s amazing plan for your life.

And, ohhh, he does not want that. He does not want you to know you are a unique flower in the garden of the Almighty. He does not want you to know that you beautify the world just as you are. He does not want you to grow tall, to stretch out to the Son, to be bathed in Light, to turn heads, or give glory to God.

So, he turns your lovely features into insecurities. He makes you compare yourself to everything else growing around you. You start to worry because you don’t cover much ground like the tall grasses. You don’t outwardly protect and defend yourself like the thorny bush. People don’t gather for picnics near you like the mighty oak tree. And you don’t scale crazy heights like the ivy.

You have focused so much on what you are NOT, that you can’t see what you ARE—a very rare and beautiful flower. You only see that your shape, your flare, your height, your vibrant color, and your deep center are different from the others. So, you begin to doubt your purpose and you fear for your future… because you know you won’t be able to contribute to the building of houses like the oak tree. You won’t be able to produce berries like the thorny bush. And, so, you shirk in the field. You fold up your petals, cower, and hide amongst the weeds.

And the devil smiles. He nods with a sense of victory.

But the thing is: he is telling the others the same things. He is showing the mighty oak your thin stem. He is showing the grass your vibrant color, he is showing the thorny bush your soft petals, and the ivy how you sway and dance. And now, they are also doubting themselves. They, too, are insecure, worrying about their purpose… because they know they will never belong to a bouquet, or never be given as an expression of love, like a flower is.

You see, the devil has managed to get all of you to compete with each other and resent each other… instead of living amongst each other, encouraging each other, and enjoying each other. He has stirred up an unreal and unnecessary animosity between you—based on the single lie that beauty is found in sameness. You have all accepted this lie into your world, and now it has settled over your field like a thick, dark fog.

And God is sad. He hangs His head with disappointment.

Because, the secret is: you all have the power to lift this fog. By moving in harmony with each other you can create a powerful breeze that can drive it out. The truth is: by embracing your uniqueness, by owning your individuality, you all, collectively, make this world a more lovely place.

Dear beautiful, the field is not the same without the flower. And your school, your home, your world is not the same without you… the real, rare, and exquisite YOU. So, do not look at your peers through their filters and their carefully crafted posts. Do not feel pressured to filter yourself or to craft yours like theirs. Do not think your clothes have to reveal so much of your body, or your makeup has to cover up so much of your face.

Oh, sweet girl, you’ve already been colored with the hand of Almighty God, and your story is already crafted in his heart. The only thing you really need to do is to BE.... just "be" who you are, and grow where you are planted. You have already taken our breath away.

With love,
~A Fellow Flower